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Born Gay? - Born Trans? Nurture vs Nature

Updated: 2 hours ago


So when it comes to being trans or gay there's always been a debate on whether someone is born gay or trans or does society (the nurture part) cause the outcome?

“Today’s episode explores a story that changed the entire conversation about this and gender identity. It’s heavy, it’s important, and it reminds us why listening to our own inner truth matters.”

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Let's start with some explanation of nurture and nature:

Nature versus nurture in gender identity and sexual orientation

Nature refers to the internal blueprint we’re born with — the neurological, hormonal, and biological factors that shape who we are at the deepest level. Nurture is everything the outside world layers on top of that: family expectations, cultural norms, social pressure, reward and punishment, the roles we’re taught to play. When it comes to gender identity and being gay or straight, decades of research and countless lived experiences show that nature does most of the steering. Identity and orientation consistently emerge from within, long before society has a chance to script anything. Nurture can influence how freely someone expresses themselves or how safe they feel doing so, but it doesn’t create or erase the core truth they carry.

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Ok so here's the groundbreaking case or story...

David Reimer, known in medical literature anonymously for years as the "John/Joan" case. This tragic story became a landmark case in the "nature versus nurture" debate surrounding gender identity. 

Background of the Case

  • Birth and Incident: David Reimer was born Bruce Reimer in Canada in 1965, an identical twin boy. At eight months old, a routine circumcision procedure went terribly wrong, resulting in the accidental destruction of his penis.

  • Medical Advice: His parents, desperate for a solution, consulted with Dr. John Money, a prominent psychologist and sexologist at Johns Hopkins University. Dr. Money was a strong proponent of the theory that gender identity was primarily a social construct, or "nurture," that could be assigned and successfully taught up to a certain age.

  • Gender Reassignment: Dr. Money advised the parents to raise the child as a girl. Bruce underwent surgical procedures to construct a vulva and was given the name Brenda. The family was instructed to keep this history a secret and raise Brenda as a typical girl, with Dr. Money documenting the case as a scientific "triumph" of his theory. 

The Outcome

Contrary to Dr. Money's published reports of success, Brenda never felt at peace in the assigned gender role. 

  • Gender Dysphoria: From a very young age, Brenda exhibited masculine behaviors, rejected feminine clothing and dolls, and was often socially isolated and bullied by peers who called her names like "cavewoman". Despite hormone treatments and social conditioning, she deeply struggled with depression and inner conflict, feeling that she was a boy trapped in a girl's body.

  • Reclaiming Identity: At age 14, after years of psychological distress, David's parents revealed the truth about his birth and the reassignment. He immediately decided to live as a male, adopting the name David and beginning hormone therapy and surgeries to transition back to living as a man.

  • Tragedy: David spoke publicly about his traumatic experience later in life to warn against non-consensual gender reassignment in infants. The psychological scars from his upbringing never fully healed, and after a series of personal tragedies (including his twin brother's death by suicide and his own divorce), David died by suicide in 2004 at the age of 38. 


The case of David Reimer profoundly challenged the prevailing "nurture" theories of gender identity, highlighting the deep-seated, biological elements of a person's sense of self. His story led to significant changes in medical practices regarding intersex individuals, moving toward a standard of informed consent and delaying irreversible surgeries until a child is old enough to have a say in their own gender identity. 

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There's some controversy related to this case...here's are some historical dates and facts.

When the story was originally published

📌 December 1997 — David Reimer first went public with his experience after years of it being known only to doctors and in academic circles. Researcher Milton Diamond encouraged him to speak out, and the story was published in Rolling Stone magazine by John Colapinto. This was the first major public account revealing how the case really turned out and challenging the earlier medical narrative. Wikipedia+1

Major subsequent publications and attention

📌 February 20, 2000 — Book As Nature Made Him: The Boy Who Was Raised as a Girl by John Colapinto was published, expanding the Rolling Stone piece into a widely read biography that brought the case to an even broader audience. Wikipedia

📌 Early 2000s — The story was featured in documentaries and public radio programs, including BBC and PBS (e.g., a PBS NOVA episode in 2001), helping cement it in public and scientific discourse. Wikipedia+1

📌 2004 — After David’s death, major news outlets published obituaries and retrospectives on his life and what the case meant for medicine and gender theory. Wikipedia

Before public publication

For decades (1967 through the 1990s) the case was known only in medical literature and John Money himself published it as successful in academic circles as evidence for his nurture-over-nature theory — even though the reality was very different. The full truth did not become widely known until the late 1990s. Wikipedia

Why this matters historically

• Before 1997, Money’s reports influenced medical practice even though they were inaccurate. • After 1997 and especially after the 2000 biography, the case became a turning point in how doctors and researchers think about gender identity and ethics of infant surgeries. Wikipedia

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What Was NOT Historically Accurate

Dr. John Money, the psychologist overseeing the case, published the “John/Joan” case in the 1960s–1980s as a massive success, claiming:

• The child fully accepted being raised as a girl • The reassignment was thriving • Gender identity was malleable and could be shaped entirely by socialization • This case “proved” his theory that nurture overrides biology

These reports were widely believed and taught in medical schools. But they were false — and he knew it.

What Was Hidden (and eventually exposed)

Starting from early childhood:

• Brenda (David) rejected female clothing • Behaved in ways typical for boys • Was deeply distressed • Expressed not feeling like a girl • Had severe emotional and psychological struggles • Was being pressured, shamed, and forced into certain behaviors during Money’s sessions • The therapy was more coercive and disturbing than publicly acknowledged • The family was deeply uncomfortable but believed Money because he was the leading expert

Dr. Money did not publish any of this. He actively suppressed the truth and continued claiming success for decades.

When the Full Truth Finally Emerged

The real story didn’t surface until:

1990s • Researchers like Milton Diamond began investigating inconsistencies in Money’s reports • Diamond pressured the family to come forward • David Reimer decided to share his experience publicly • 1997 Rolling Stone article by John Colapinto exposed the truth • 2000 Biography “As Nature Made Him” detailed the full reality of David’s childhood, trauma, and transition

This was the first time the world learned that:

• The reassignment was not a success • David always felt male • The social experiment caused deep harm • Dr. Money manipulated the data and lied in scientific publications • Medical policies had been shaped by inaccurate information for decades

Why This Correction Was So Important

Because Dr. Money’s falsified “success story” influenced:

• Gender assignment practices for infants • Treatment of intersex babies • Psychological models of gender • Medical guidelines about early childhood gender identity

Doctors believed “it worked” because Money said it did — and they didn’t know he had hidden the suffering.

When the truth came out in the 1990s, it completely overturned the earlier narrative and led to major ethical reforms.

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Summary

 Reflection: What This Case Taught the World

Key points to explore:

• Gender identity is an intrinsic, deeply rooted part of who we are. Not something that can be overwritten by social expectations or even medical intervention.

• The cost of ignoring someone’s inner self can be devastating. David’s story became a turning point for the medical field.

• The shift toward informed consent. Irreversible surgeries on infants are no longer considered ethical without the individual’s input.

• The importance of hearing people when they say who they are.

• Trust your inner voice — it often knows before the world does. • Don’t let others write your story for you. • Expression can be fluid, but identity tends to be deeply anchored. • We become healthier, kinder partners when we understand the reality of gender from every angle. • Compassion grows when we acknowledge how complex people’s journeys can be.

“David’s story is tragic, but it reshaped medicine and helped protect countless people today. It reminds us to honor who we are, not who others need us to be… and that’s really the heart of this podcast.”


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